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People Are Sharing Shitty Life Tips, And Theyre Just Too Funny

Are you looking for terrible and completely useless life tips? Then you’ve come to the right place! Bored Panda has compiled a list of the crappiest advice ever.

Some of them come from a sub-Reddit called /r/ShittyLifeProTips, and while they won’t actually help you to achieve much, they are at least useful when it comes to making us laugh. From using ketchup as a bookmark, to saving yourself precious time by adding toothpaste to meals, these “pro” life tips are sure to put a smile on your face while completely failing to help you in any practical way. Don’t forget to vote for your favorite!

P.S.: These tips are a joke and may be dangerous, don’t try them yourself!



Yes, there is one great contribution men can make to feminism: pick up a mop | Helen Lewis

Our society and capitalism at large depends on the unpaid labour of women. But theres evidence that our gendered assumptions are hurting men too

Last week, I got a cleaner in. Now I know what youre thinking. Ooh, get her, Lady Muck! Or possibly: Typical middle-class feminist, offloading work on to an immigrant woman. Thats because youre sexist. But heres the thing. When the cleaner arrived he well, he was a he. A bloke. I was slightly freaked out. And thats because Im sexist too.

Our association of domestic labour with women is so ingrained that its hard to see its a social construction rather than an immutable natural phenomenon. In her new film Joy, Jennifer Lawrences character has her big idea a self-squeezing mop while cleaning up someone elses glass of spilled red wine. The responsibility doesnt fall on her ex-husband, who bought the booze (in contravention of strict instructions to stick to white) or the person who spilled it. It falls on the nearest available mother.

Of course, it is possible to make a class-based argument against having a cleaner that theres something alienating or repulsive about offloading inconvenient tasks to those lower downthe income chain. But if thats thestandard, we are wildly inconsistentabout applying it.

Jennifer Lawrence and Robert De Niro in Joy. Jennifer Lawrences character has her big idea a self-squeezing mop while cleaning up someone elses glass of spilled red wine. Photograph: Allstar/20th Century Fox

Im guessing, for instance, that you might have bought a cup of coffee recently from Pret or Greggs, rather than voyaged to the Amazon basin to harvest your own beans. If youre having fish for dinner, you probably didnt spend this morning in waders, catching the slippery bugger. Most of us dont wire our own houses or service our own boilers, or build our smartphones from scratch. And yet theres a deep resentment of working women who offload their domestic tasks on to someone else, even as we tacitly accept that thats what working men have done for decades.

For the last few years Ive been trying an experiment. I speak at a lot of feminist events, and often these involve an all-female panel. Often, a man pops up in the Q&A, or buttonholes me afterwards to ask why feminism has to make men feel so unwelcome. Arent mens contributions valuable? Absolutely, I cry with all the fake enthusiasm I can muster and there is one, huge contribution that men can make to feminism: the washing up. Or the laundry, Im easy. Or going part-time while the kids are small.

At this point, the light in their eyes tends to die. It turns out that when theysaid they wanted men to be involved in feminism, what they actually meant was have someone listen to their ideas about what feminists are currently doing wrong. Not do a load of boring unpaid work in return for absolutely zero praise. But as a 2012 report for the IPPR put it: On most key issues, the route to modern feminist goals must pass through fathers. Men should work more flexibly, take greater responsibility for caring for their children and their homes, and have the right to reserved parental leave.

I dont blame men for taking one look at this proposition and thinking thanks, but no thanks. Over the last 50 years female participation in the workforce has increased enormously, and the benefits to women are clear: more economic power, and more of thefreedom that brings. You might evencallit empowering, if that word didnt make me want to beat myself to death with a Spice Girls CD. No such incentives apply to the idea of doing more unpaid labour in the home.

And so we are left with a series ofbodged compromises, of which middle-class women employing cleaners is merely the most obvious. I suspect robot butlers as per Mark Zuckerbergs plan to spend 2016 building himself an artificial intelligence that can help around the house might be the next. Perhaps we can just skip the bit where the burden transfers from women to men and pass it straight off tolaundry-folding robots?

A robot at a nursing residence in Florence, Italy. I suspect robot butlers as per Mark Zuckerbergs plan to spend 2016 building himself an artificial intelligence that can help around the house might be the next bodged compromise. Photograph: Laura Lezza/Getty Images

These fudges cover up the basic, inescapable fact that our society is dependent on unpaid labour, without which capitalism could not survive. In 2013, the British Social Attitudes Survey found that women report spending an average of 13 hours on housework and 23 hours on caring for family members each week; the equivalent figures for men are 8 hours and 10 hours. We need to make this invisible labour visible.

In the 1970s Selma James and her fellow activists demanded Wages for Housework; more recently, James criticised feminists who allowed the Blair government to decry workless mothers, when those women were often doing more than an eight-hour shift of caring labour. Iain Duncan Smiths welfare reforms have taken this idea to its logical conclusion: from 2017, single parents (largely mothers) will be penalised by the benefit system for not working as soon as their children turn three. Yes, there will be some free childcare available, but not enough. This is outrageous, and has only happened because we dont regard housework and childcare as real work.

The unfairness of our current attitudes was tackled in one of last years most thought-provoking books, Katrine Marals Who Cooked Adam Smiths Dinner?. The answer to the titles question, it turns out, is Adam Smiths mum. Widowed in her 20s she depended on him financially, and he depended on her to have his tea ready after a hard days bashing out Big Thoughts about economics. It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the banker, that we can expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest, wrote Smith, unaccountably failing to add: Oh, and from my mum, who feeds me in return for not starving herself.

Mrs Smith was, of course, a rational economic actor: she got something out of the deal too. But todays working women dont have to wash dishes to keep a roof over their heads. And so a whole social apparatus has formed to convince them to perpetuate the status quo: the cult of the domestic goddess; rhetoric about whether women choose to have children or not, elbowing out any consideration of child-rearing as a social good; even the current bestseller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, wherein Japanese folding guru Marie Kondo talks unselfconsciously about her seminars for housewives and mothers.

So can anything convince men that the domestic burden should be more fairly distributed? I doubt it, but there is now, at least, evidence that our gendered assumptions about labour are hurting men too. Manufacturing, traditionally a male-dominated sector, is in long-term decline; at the same time recent waves of migration to Britain have been majority female (54% of the foreign-born population are women, according to Oxford Universitys Migration Observatory) because many of the jobs available are in the service sector. Men are now being disadvantaged by our prejudices about womens work, which bleed out from housework into the idea that serving or caring for another human is demeaning to a mans dignity.

By the way, my male cleaner was brilliant. He mopped my floor so that I could generate an income from my work you know, the same thing women have done for men for decades.

Buying begets buying: how stuff has consumed the average American’s life

Our addiction to consuming things is a vicious cycle, and buying a bigger house to store it all isnt the answer. Heres how to get started on downsizing

The personal storage industry rakes in $22bn each year, and its only getting bigger. Why?

Ill give you a hint: its not because vast nations of hoarders have finally decided to get their acts together and clean out the hall closet.

Its also not because were short on space. In 1950 the average size of a home in the US was 983 square feet. Compare that to 2011, when American houses ballooned to an average size of 2,480 square feet almost triple the size.

And finally, its not because of our growing families. This will no doubt come as a great relief to our helpful commenters who each week kindly suggest that for maximum environmental impact we simply stop procreating altogether: family sizes in the western world are steadily shrinking, from an average of 3.37 people in 1950 to just 2.6 today.

So, if our houses have tripled in size while the number of people living in them has shrunk, what, exactly, are we doing with all of this extra space? And why the billions of dollars tossed to an industry that was virtually nonexistent a generation or two ago?

Well, friends, its because of our stuff. What kind of stuff? Who cares! Whatever fits! Furniture, clothing, childrens toys (for those not fans of deprivation, that is), games, kitchen gadgets and darling tchotchkes that dont do anything but take up space and look pretty for a season or two before being replaced by other, newer things equally pretty and equally useless.

The simple truth is this: you can read all the books and buy all the cute cubbies and baskets and chalkboard labels, even master the life-changing magic of cleaning up but if you have more stuff than you do space to easily store it, your life will be spent a slave to your possessions.

We shop because were bored, anxious, depressed or angry, and we make the mistake of buying material goods and thinking they are treats which will fill the hole, soothe the wound, make us feel better. The problem is, theyre not treats, theyre responsibilities and what we own very quickly begins to own us.

The second you open your wallet to buy something, it costs you and in more ways than you might think. Yes, of course theres the price tag and the corresponding amount of time it took you to earn that amount of money, but possessions also cost you space in your home and time spent cleaning and maintaining them. And as the token environmentalist in the room, Id be remiss if I didnt remind you that when you buy something, youre also taking on the task of disposing of it (responsibly or not) when youre done with it. Our addiction to consumption is a vicious one, and its stressing us out.

I know this because Ive experienced it, having lived in everything from a four-bedroom house to my current one-bedroom flat I share with my daughter but Im also bringing some cold, hard science to the table.

A study published by UCLA showed that womens stress hormones peaked during the times they were dealing with their possessions and material goods. Anyone who parks on the street because they cant fit their car into the garage, or has stared down a crammed closet, can relate.

Our addiction to consuming is a vicious one, and its having a markedly negative impact on virtually every aspect of our lives.

Our current solution to having too much stuff is as short-sighted as it is ineffective: when we run out of space, we simply buy a bigger house. This solution will never work, and the reason it will never work is that possessions seem to hold strange scientific properties they expand to fill the space you provide for them.

This is why some normal adult human beings can live in houses just 426 square feet (like my lovely mother, in her floating home in Victoria, Canada) and others find that not even their 2,500-square-foot McMansion feels big enough. Its almost never the amount of space thats the problem, but the amount of stuff.

So if bigger homes arent the solution, what is? I suggest heading in the exact opposite direction: deliberately choose a life with less. Buy less and instantly you have less to store; you use less space. Eventually you can work less to pay for all of this stuff. Soon you will stress less too and, above all, your life will involve less waste.

Are you wondering where to begin? Dont. You know exactly where this journey starts. It starts with the stuff that makes you feel guilty, stressed or overwhelmed when you look at it. The clothing with price tags still on them, the toys no one plays with, the boxes and boxes of stuff youre storing in your attic, basement and garage, just in case. Get rid of it; recycle it, donate it, sell it on Craigslist. And when youre done getting rid of it, stop buying more.

Because when it comes to stuff, I promise you, you dont need more labels or better systems or complicated Pinterest tutorials all you need is less.

Say no more!

Cleaning dishes like a Pro!

Another one of those cleaning jobs we’d pass on!

High-wire team give Kelpies their first health check – BBC News

Image copyright PA

The world’s largest pair of equine sculptures are being given their first health check as they approach their third birthday.

The Kelpies, located between Falkirk and Grangemouth, have been inspected by a unique high-wire team.

They have the task of grooming their “coats” and checking their teeth.

The Andy Scott-designed sculptures are now undergoing a full internal and external inspection as part of an eight-week project.

Image copyright PA
Image copyright PA

Tours inside the 30-metre steel horses, which tower over the Forth & Clyde Canal, will continue throughout the high-flying health check.


Richard Millar, director of infrastructure at Scottish Canals, said: “As the Kelpies approach their third birthday, the maintenance work as part of this important health check will ensure that these global waterway icons are here, delivering for Scotland over the next century and beyond, continuing to capture the imaginations of people all over the planet and helping to put Falkirk and Grangemouth on tourists’ must-see lists the world over.”

Image copyright PA
Image copyright PA

Mr Millar told BBC Radio Scotland the team of at least 15 people are using products including household cleaning fluids to ready the sculptures for the peak summer season.

Speaking on Good Morning Scotland, he added that the work is expected to be completed within the next three weeks.

Image copyright PA
Image copyright PA


The cat that cleans up after itself!

This cleaner nailed it!

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