Shit You Need To Get Rid Of Before 2017


You promised yourself youd get organized last New Years, and yet you still cant manage to see the floor of your apartment. I mean, betches arent exactly hoarders, but decluttering isnt really our area of expertise, so its time to change that. 2017 is a fresh start, so its time to get rid of any shit that thatll hold you back. Dont leave to St. Barts with a room full of shit you shouldve thrown out. Heres what you need to toss:

1. Shit Youve Never Worn

If youre anything like the rest of us, you open your closet every morning to a million old pieces youd never wear again, cry that you have no clothes, then wear the same black top you wore on Monday. I know its not spring cleaning, but its time to clean out your closet and just get rid of the shit youve never worn. That means its time to say goodbye to that velvet crop top you bought at American Apparel two years ago. Lets be real, if it still has a tag, youre not wearing it any time soon.

2. Shit From Your Ex

If youre already seeing pics on Facebook of your ex with his new girlfriend, its time to throw out his sweatshirt. Give it to Goodwill, throw it in a fire I really dont care. Just get rid of it. Keeping stuff from your ex is inevitable after the breakup, and even if you think youll innocently keep his shit in your closet and never wear it, its still a problem. Its kind of like keeping expired milk in your fridge. Like, even though youre not using it, its just sitting there reminding you how pathetic and irresponsible you are. Toss the hoodie.

3. Old Chargers and Shit

Betches love technology as much as any Mark Zuckerberg-worshipping Silicon Valley tech nerd, but I think we can all agree that chargers are the fucking worst. Their lack of loyalty has caused them to break and pile up in our rooms over the years, and its time to throw them out. You need ONE charger for your iPhone and one for your computer, so get rid of the rest. Oh, and your selfie stick can go in the trash too. Lets say bye to the absurdity of 2016 once and for all.

4. Shit in Your Bathroom Cabinets

So youve tried out every hair, skin, and nail product sold at Sephora, but your bathroom cabinet doesnt have to be the living proof of it. We assume youve found the shampoo and conditioner you like, so just stock up on those and stick with them. Your bathroom shouldnt be filled with a bunch of random half-used beauty products, and if it is, its time to throw all that shit away. Just imagine how much better your shower will look if you got rid of all the bottles you dont actually use.

5. Sparkly Shit

We dont know why the fuck the glitter trend made a recent return, but its time to say goodbye. I mean, youre doing yourself a favor. Wear one sparkly thing and you literally have random glitter on your hands forever. This trend is over, so get rid of any glitter you own. It doesnt belong in your hair, on your face, or on your outfit this New Years. Sparkles are for bat mitzvahs, Zooey Deschannel, and the holiday section of Bath & Body Works. Just get rid of it all.